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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Dear guy in the row ahead of us on the plane

I get it.  You think you're cursed for the next 45 minutes of your life because you have to sit next to a 2 year old on the plane.

I'll stop said 2 year old from kicking your chair, shaking your chair, screaming, opening and closing the tray and all things that will directly mess up you life.  I vow to make sure he doesn't do anything that's going to jiggle your seat or hurt your ears.

However, what I won't do is stop him from playing cars on his very own chair while quietly making crashing noises, or laughingly pointing out that we're on a plane a million times, or any general 2 year old activities.  These general 2 year old activities keep him from crying, lashing out at me, and all things that will most definitely lead to the kicking of your chair, etc.

And I hear your deep sighs, I see your eyes rolling while my child looks out the window and tells me over and over we're on an "Urr-plane".  I get all your passive aggressive motions that your day is just effed because you're sitting next to us for the next 45 minutes.  This actually doesn't make me want to be more vigilant. It makes me want to let my kid get all kinds of Lord of the Flies and just go nuts on you.

As of now a 45 minute flight to me is nothing when you consider our next two flights are at least 4 hours each.  One will take us over the Atlantic and the other will traverse Europe and the Mediterranean Sea.

So, doing what you did is a good move- sigh deeply, gather your magazine, go to another seat, give me a good "I hate you look" and enjoy the remaining 15 minutes of your flight.  Your day is now saved.  I'll just do what I did- see you, pretend not to, and give my 2 year old a hug.