Over it?

This Summer marks out fifth year of living overseas, and our second year living in Dubai.  Our "just two years, and then we'll be back" hasn't worked out exactly how we thought it would.

I know the feels, Little Buddy.  I knows em'

I remember just moving to Cairo and meeting some fellow expats who were on their 5 year (and more) mark of living overseas.  They were over it.  I remember wondering how anyone could possible be tired of the excitement of living in a different country, the travel it enables, and the benefits an expat can possibly bring.
Welp, here I am 5 years later and I can say I'm over it.  My over it became clear in different occasions when visiting home.  Last Christmas I broke down in tears the night before we left, and didn't stop crying until we were back in Dubai for a couple of days.  I was sick of the stress of packing when you leave to return overseas.  All expats can relate to the mother load purchases you send to your home address in your home country (or wherever you send your stuff).  You do this because you either don't have access to the shops you love, or you do but they're incredibly marked up in price.  When we were in Egypt I didn't have access to brands I know and trust.  Gap, Gymboree and Carter's wasn't happening in our life.  In Dubai we have access to all the comfort brands, but it's going to cost you.  Some places have about at 40% mark up on clothing. So, all year round you watch sales and check promo codes.  You send your fellow expat friends texts like GAP IS HAVING A 50% OFF ALL NEW ITEMS! RUN! RUNNNN!!!!  Then you anxiously await the day you arrive and get to open the mountain of brown cardboard boxes waiting for you.  Gap- Oooh! I remember getting this- it was $5!  Amazon- I got Dragons Love Tacos, and it wasn't $30! J. Crew- Yessss!  The tunic I stalked till it went on clearance!  Smocked Auction- this wasn't on sale, whatevs, my girl will look super awesome in this smocked whale bubble.

Stuff like this makes your week.

So, you have all your purchases on top of what else you bought while home. Sometimes because you need it, and sometimes because it was there and you could purchase it.  A Frozen doll that's $10 and not $30?  Merry Christmas, 2017!  All these purchases have to come back with you in the 8 empty suitcases you brought with you.  This involves meticulous packing to maximize your space.  This involves starting to pack at least a week before you leave.  This involves weighing your suitcase, removing items, weighing again, and again, and again.  All this while your children are like "Moooommmmm! Don't pack Monopoly yet!  I want to play it!", and running around like loons because they see you doing something stressful, so they need to add more chaos to an already stressful situation.  Kids rule like that.  And, after two trips home per year, and all the stuff that comes back with us from that, and all the packing, and weighing, and stress of that- I was over it.  I broke down.  It was the first time in 5 years that I ever said out loud that I didn't want to leave the U.S. It was my turn to be over it.  I couldn't believe I was feeling that way, and it scared me.

Now, the trouble with being over it is it's not like you can snap your fingers and move home.  You're in your country of residence because of a job.  It would be great to say "Thanks all, but I'm moving back.  You're cool with that right?"

No. We are not cool with that. 

So, whaddahya gunna do? Just figure out the positives of living overseas, and cling to that like no other.  I love Benjamin's school.  The company pays for his tuition, so he's getting a great education at no cost to us.  That's unbelievable.  I love having beach access that's within 15 minutes from our house.  I love being able to travel to different countries.  I absolutely love that.  I love that when we do go home it's for at least a month.  That's some serious quality and quantity time.  I love not having to work.  I love getting to understand different points of view from all types of different cultures.  I love gaining the knowledge that xyz culture and faith does not fit into a box, and can mean many different things.  I love not having to pump my gas.  Odd thing to love, but oh man is it nice not having to do that.

There are no words, people.  This is heaven.

Ultimately, I miss living in the U.S.  I miss home.  I miss my family.  I miss our friends.  Being around people that truly know you, and have known you for 10+ years, is a breath of fresh air.  They know when you're joking, they know when you're serious, and they know you. I can't express how much I miss that.  I miss Halloween, I miss Christmas and I miss Thanksgiving- the one holiday where you just show up.  No strings attached! You show up, and eat.  My kind of holiday.

I'd love to know that this "I'm giving this 2 more years" ultimatum I claimed is actually going to pan out.  You honestly never know where life will bring you.  I returned to Cairo with a new baby in tow, gave Egypt a "one more year" decree, and Seth came home within 2 weeks saying we were moving to Dubai.  Who knows what's on our horizon.  Hopefully, better things.

Hopefully our next leap will the leap back (dramatic pause) home.