One year in Dubai

I did an entry for our one year anniversary with Cairo, so here's one for Dubai.

It was easy to blog about living in Egypt because it was night and day from anything in the US.  It's not as easy to do here because it's very similar to the US, and what our lives would be like back home.  School drop off's, going to work, going to the gym, going to play dates, going to the grocery store, trying to think of things to do on the weekend that are fun and inexpensive (okay, that's one area where Dubai is not like home- everything is expensive), cleaning the house, cooking for 4 people, driving in traffic, crazy drivers on 6 lane freeways- all very similar to what life would be like in Houston.  I also don't have as much free time to sit at a computer and complete many thoughts than I did in Cairo.  I have about 6 unfinished entries sitting in my draft folder right now, so a lot will be jammed into this entry.

Sooo....one year here.

I'll start with trips.  We've gone on two trips since being here (three if you're counting going home for a visit).  We went to London in December 2013.

Tower of London

Who says you can't travel with kids and keep it inexpensive?  Benjamin's favorite part- riding the bus

FAMILY!!! We got to meet up with the lovely Mrs Katee Cahill for two days.  This chick is the best tour guide ever! Doing Zachary, La proud!

What is it with kids needing to chase pigeons around?  What followed next was a face plant, and a pretty banged up nose.

Cokes remained snuggly in her stroller and cocoon sleeping bag.  We were all jealous.  She knew how good she had it too because she happily spent a lot of time in there. 

Love this pic of my two guys

London was super cool.  I'd love to return when out kids are much older so we can fully appreciate all it has to offer.  We stuck to the tourist stuff and parks this trip.  We learned two valuable lessons though-
1.  Get a hotel apartment, or an airbnb place. We stayed at a Holiday Inn in Oxford Circus because Seth had a bajillion points from his stay in Dubai the previous summer/fall.  It was fully cemented in our brains after this trip- and all sleepless nights-to always get a 2 bedroom apartment on our next destination.
2.  Do not under any circumstances go to Harrod's in London.  Especially during Christmas.  It's hot, crowded, and you can't afford anything in there anyway.  We entered, Benjamin had to use the bathroom, waited an hour in line for him to do that, and then exited. All that took at least 3 hours to accomplish.


We spent a quiet Christmas back in Dubai.  It was the first Christmas we've stayed in our home while living overseas.  It was quiet, perfect, and also lonely.  We're heading home for Christmas 2014 (so excited!)

Dubai Christmas- where it's too hot to wear  your complete fleece pajama set

Summer 2014 brought us to Italy.

First stop was Rome

My parents, and my Mom's long time friend (and my 1st Grade teacher!) Mrs Carrier were with us too.  

Benjamin and Colette loved Rome.  Because they ate

 and ate

and ate

Benjamin loved the Coliseum and, to everyone surprise, absolutely loved going into every single Church he could enter.  He loved them!  He loved having Seth, or my Mom, tell him the stories behind every painting, every Saint, everything.  I remember I was the same way.  Catholicism is steeped in history (the good, the bad, the ugly), and I'm so happy to know my son loved hearing about his faith, and everything that goes into it.


Did Colette love all the churches?

Not so much.

It was absolutely amazing and so good for the soul to be in Rome.  It's like London, it's like Cairo- everywhere you turn is something to see that you learned about.  It's either an ancient statue, monument, old building, even a street food- everything, at every corner, is steeped in history.  We loved it!  Living in Dubai is great, but not so great for a lover of history.  The things here will go down in history, one day, but right now everything is new and nothing that conjures up deep rooted emotions.


Next stop was Tuscany.

So, going to Tuscany is something you'll often see on people's bucket list.  It's beautiful, it's inspiring (like really.  The Renaissance started there.  Even way back then they thought living in Tuscany was pretty rad)  HOWEVER, it's just something to see for yourself.  Because it's such an indescribable beauty.  Our pictures couldn't capture it.  Our descriptions couldn't capture it. It's just that wonderful.

We had the privilege of staying in a 400 year old villa in the small village of Rivalto.  It was so amazing that we could have stayed there all week and been totally happy.

We were able to enjoy the outdoors!

and eat

and eat

and eat

The kids loved the outdoors, and walking around the small villages 

Just a note here- Pisa is petty meh.  Besides the tower, there really isn't much to see.

We returned back from Italy to the blazing hot temperatures of Dubai.

that's 114 degrees to my non Celsius reading folk

So, we decided to cross one thing "you must do" off of our Dubai checklist

Ski Dubai, y'all!

Ski Dubai does not disappoint.  It's a lot of fun. Benjamin had an absolute blast.  Coco couldn't make the trip because under 3's are not allowed.  

She's more of a beach girl anyway

Benjamin's summer had an agenda: "Firss day camp, then Iddhlee, then big boy skool."

So, tear, now begins his trek into big boy school.  He's in an absolutely amazing school that Seth and I are completely amazed with through and through.  

First Day of school

Another great thing that happened in our year in Dubai is this small one's First Birthday.

Unreal to think that she's never had actual residence in the US.  Only one and she's lived in two countries and traveled to two more on top of that.  What a cool life this mini chick is living!

Seth's job is going really well.  He has also found some good friends through his cycling.  We're all so proud of him keeping up with his fitness.  Benjamin told me when he grows up he's going to go on bike races with his Daddy every weekend.  

So, now cooler temps are settling into Dubai.  It's not going to break 95 today (!).  Next week is Halloween, then Little League will start up again, and then we'll be heading home before we know it to celebrate Christmas with family and friends.  Looks like our next adventure will be heading to Vietnam over Benjamin's Spring Break in march.  

Where to next, guys?

Thanks for the great year, Dubai!

Goodnight My Cairo

I can't bring myself to edit our location or anything that says we still live in Egypt on this blog.  Even though we have moved to Dubai, UAE.  It has been a far more difficult process to let go of Egypt than I had expected.

One of Benjamin's favorite books is Goodnight My Cairo.  I bought it at a CSA book fair shortly after we moved to Egypt. It's a really sweet book that's a take on Goodnight Moon.  He asked for it other night, and I found myself getting choked up while reading it.  I've been reflecting a lot on our lives in Egypt lately.  I really miss living there, and I enjoyed our time there so much. 

Three years ago (ish) we began our new life in Egypt. Both Seth and I had traveled to different countries before, but this was the first time we'd be actually living overseas.  Not only overseas but also in a region/continent/country/city/house/culture that was night and day different than our lives in the US. We put our best foot forward, made a go of it, all the while thinking we'd only be living overseas for 2 years.  Now we find ourselves with 3 years under out belt and living in another country. I can't tell if I like it yet.  It's an ongoing process.

Egypt is a totally polarizing country.  People say they either love it or hate it.

Ancient structures everywhere! So much culture!  I love you Egypt!

Frigging traffic.  People cutting in. Non stop horns.  I hate you Egypt!

However, in my opinion, it's not so black and white.  You can go from love to hate to love again in 30 minutes.  Your love/hate changes from day to day, and it's exhausting! Egypt is like one of those highly dramatic relationships where you're either fighting or making up all the time.  There isn't much in between.  So, when our relationship with Egypt ended so abruptly we didn't have any resolve.  No make up's or final good bye's. It just ended without any closure. Now I find myself totally romanticizing about our time in Cairo. I'm forgetting all the frustrations and difficulties (and there are a ton) and just remembering the ease of everything.  It's a good thing look fondly on our time there, but it's hurting my move to Dubai as well.  I can't seem to fully embrace my new relationship with Dubai.

So, what's the hang up with Egypt?  If it's so dirty, noisy, and crowded why is it so hard to let it go?  It's a couple of things.  I absolutely miss the culture of Egypt.  Living in an ancient city like Cairo is unbelievable.  Especially for an American who, as one tour guide put it, was from a "baby country."  We get excited if something was built in the early 1900's.  So the Giza Pyramids are a total mind blower when you think about how Cleopatra's life was closer to the moon landing than it was to the Giza Pyramids being constructed.  Now in Dubai...uh...y'all want to go to the mall?  A Mosque that was constructed in 2012? Get some Rain Forest Cafe or PF Chang's?

Baby Dior and Gucci. For all your $400 baby outfit needs.

Pyramids in Ski Dubai.  We can't escape you, Egypt!  

I miss the culture shock.  I've read a lot of blogs and books that talk about how to overcome the culture shock in Dubai.  Yea, nice try everyone. No. Just no.  There is no culture shock* in a city that has a Jean Paul Gaultier for Kids store.  (*the culture shock that I'm finding is from expats living here, but more on that later) 

Roman Aqueducts in Cairo

Buying freshly squeezed tamarind or coconut juice right outside your door.

Same with buying fresh fruit off of a kid driving a donkey cart.  

or camping in the Sahara Desert in areas that was once the bottom of the ocean

On the other hand, Egypt brings things like evacuating with your kids because of a military coup, getting constantly harassed on the streets because I dare to be a girl who has to get groceries and pay her cell phone bill, painfully loud  construction work going on in the apartment above you that starts right when you finally get your child down for a nap (and goes on for 9 months), drivers who think nothing of going the wrong way down a one way bridge, people trying to cheat you at every turn, and military coups- you know, culture and whatnot.

Morning after evacuating Cairo.  Political refugees before reaching kindergarten.  

 So, while I'm completely romanticizing our time in Cairo, I also need to remember the wonderful things about living in Dubai.  There are many.

It's clean here!  No trash on the streets, no broken glass in green spaces, and no stray dogs travelling in packs terrorizing everyone.

beautiful and clean beaches all over

You can wear tank tops here!  I wouldn't if going to certain locations, but if I'm in my neighborhood then it's okay.  I never wore tank tops in Egypt.

Locals here are more tolerant of how people dress.  Basically, you're not going to get groped if you dare to wear a tank top.

It's great for kids!  Not that Egypt wasn't (even after the first point- it's still a great place for kids to grow up).  However, there is little league here. We have easy access to a clean and well kept up pool- that's a second's walk from our house. We have a ton of parks in our neighborhood, and in all of Dubai.  They have a Pottery Barn Kids.  Not even being snarky.  I love a PBK.

He finally got a trophy like all his cousins back home.  

It's a freakishly cool looking city!  Step back, Chicago.  Dubai is an architecture nerd's dream.

my personal favorite.  The Dubai Marina.  Infinity Building to the left.

Bacon and other pork related products!  Nobody has to kindly pick some up for us from an undisclosed location.You know who you are- and I'm forever grateful for you keeping us in bacon heaven.

Here is where I'd put a picture of the bacon at my local grocery store, but it's getting messed up and going to another location.  Anyway, you know what bacon looks like.  Haram deliciousness, is what it looks like.

So while I'm not ready to give up on Egypt I do feel like it's time to break up.  This is going to be difficult...Egypt, we had a great run.  I really do love you, but I can't look back.  I gotta more forward so I can begin my new relationship with Dubai.  I can't say I'm enthusiastic about it, but I have to give it a try.


I'll still hold a strong torch for you though, Egypt. You'll always be my first.  Um, first expat experience that is.  There's something about you that gets in people's blood and stays forever.  Your culture, your people, your smell (weird, I know, but Cairo smells really good), and your way of life.  I grew to love it among all the bad.  It's authentic, and I miss that terribly. Goodnight, My Cairo.

In your eyes, Egypt.  In (tear) your eyes...

Sara

This month is a sad month for a good friend of mine.

My friend Sara lost her twins at the end of January 2013.  They were only 3 months old.  She lost one baby two days before losing his brother.  They both died in a Cairo hospital because of heart complications.

Sara was our housekeeper in Egypt.  She worked for us for close to the entire time we were living there.  I've never met someone so strong as her.  Sara is Ethiopian.  She lived through the Ethiopian Famine in the 80's, and then after that she went to work in Saudi Arabia after she finished school.  In Saudi she was treated very poorly. I want absolutely nothing to do with that country because of how my friend was treated. After living on the streets in Saudi (because she ran away from her employer) she came to work in Cairo for an Egyptian woman.  She worked for her for 11 years and then came to work for us.

Sara is a very bold woman.  She's very funny.  She's extremely brave.  She has an amazing fashion sense. She never let anyone bully me into paying a higher price- which was often.  When she heard I was going to buy some potted plants she said she was coming with me because she knew I'd pay double.  She and the plant shop owner got into what seemed like a very heated argument over price.  Once they had settled on a price she told me "that man wanted to charge you 60 pounds (around $8) more.  I tell him he is crazy and you are not paying that."  She also verbally gutted a man we asked to sharpen our knives.  I'll never forget her yelling at him in Arabic in our back yard and telling him that he too was crazy.  He wanted to charge us $40 over his original quote.  She had all the knives in her hand and was waving them about as she spoke in rapid Arabic.  When I asked her what she said she told me "I tell that man it is not your fault you are a white lady (this made me smile)  And white ladies should not have to pay all that money.  I tell him we don't care that he is fasting (it was the first day of Ramadan), and he is a crazy man and needs to pray to stop his crazyness."  She also yelled at a man that worked in our building who had told us we needed to pay him a salary each month.  Sara knew he was taking advantage of us (his salary was already paid through our rent), so she told him that we would no longer be paying him and slammed the door in his face when he came asking for his salary.  I joked that half of Egypt was going to come beat us up because she was yelling at everyone on our behalf.

She took great care of us.  When we returned home from a trip to Dubai she had cooked us a full meal and bought us flowers.  She left us a note saying she wanted us to have some good dinner after the trip.  She did the same thing when we returned to Egypt from being in the US for Christmas.

One of Benjamin's first full sentences was "Sara goes to church." Sara is an extremely devout woman.  I'm Catholic.  We have our Lenten fasts, and we give something up.  Muslims have Ramadan.  Nothing passes through their lips while the sun is up during that time.  No religion- and I mean this- has anything on the fasting that Ethiopian Orthodox people do.  They fast on Wednesdays and Fridays all year, like forever.  They also fast before Christmas, after Christmas, before Easter, after Easter and so on and so on.  Sara was always fasting.  I knew she was because the only thing she'd have to eat all day was some small portions of some bread.  They basically eat a Vegan diet when they're fasting. Sara would take Benjamin to a Coptic church that was close to our apartment.  Benjamin was in with the local Copts.  She told me all the Priests knew him.  He'd kiss the feet of the statues (you kiss your hand then place your hand on the feet) and pictures in the church like she would.

When she told me she was pregnant I was surprised.  I was happy for her because I knew she always wanted a family.  I was also worried for her because she's about 10 years older than I am, so I was worried the pregnancy would be difficult.  When she told me I was scared she was about to quit.  I even stopped her before she could finish her sentence with asking "Oh no, are you leaving us??!" she smiled and said "No! I am pregnant!"  She was overjoyed.  I was so happy for her.

Her pregnancy was normal. I would get confused sometimes when I'd ask her what her due date was and she'd say "my doctor says maybe October or November or December."  I chalked a lot of that up to a language gap though.  She was in great spirits and wanted to work until she was 8 months pregnant.  When I was pregnant with Benjamin I was a totally lazy.  I lived in my bed on the weekends and kinda sleep walked my way through my work days.  Sara remained as hardworking as ever.  I was amazed at her dedication to her job even though I knew she wasn't feeling well.

Sara's sister, Genet, started working for us when Sara was about 8 month's pregnant.  I had met Genet a couple of times when Sara had invited us to her flat for Ethiopian New Year and their Christmas (which is celebrated in January).  Genet and Sara would come to our house together.  I really liked that time.  It was nice to hear them talking to each other in Amharic. It made it less lonely during the day.

She called us on a September morning to tell us she was in the hospital.  "You had the baby?!"  She wearily replied that yes, she had her babies.  Babies?  "Sara, I'm so sorry.  I didn't know you were having twins!"  She didn't know either.  Neither did her doctor.  Everyone was surprised.  She had also delivered them about 6 weeks premature.  She then asked if her sister, Genet, could take the next day off and stay with her because she didn't have anyone with her in the hospital.  Just one day.  I couldn't believe how she had delivered her babies 6 weeks early, had twins (!), and only asked that her sister be off one day. Well, no, I could believe it.  Her dedication to her job was inspiring. I told her that Genet had to take the entire week, and more if she needed her to stay longer....Genet showed up for work only taking off one day.

The babies stayed in the hospital for at least a month.  I didn't go see them because I figured they were in an ICU room where only their parents could see them.  It was also difficult to communicate with Genet because her English wasn't that good.  She'd worked for Egyptians for the past 12 years, so I don't think she had spoken English since she learned some of it in school.  I'd ask how Sara was doing how the babies were doing.  She'd always say the babies were very small, but getting better.

We visited Sara when the babies had been home for a little while.  She was having a party for their Baptism. I was so excited to go see the babies! They were finally home.  The babies, two boys named Michael and George, were the tiniest babies I had ever seen.  I didn't even hold them- I was too afraid I'd do something wrong.  Benjamin surprised us all when he gave both the babies a sweet kiss on the head.  Sara was beaming with pride.  I had never seen her so happy.  Seth even commented on how she just looked so content.

One morning in January Genet told me how the babies were sick.  I thought she just meant the typical 3 month old kind of sick that a lot of babies get.  First ear infection, first stuffed up nose, all that.  No, the babies were in the hospital.  I told her to go be with Sara (she told me the news after she had fully cleaned the entire kitchen and tidied up the living room), and there is no need to work until they're better.  When she came back to work I asked her the babies symptoms because I wanted to know why they were in the hospital in the first place.  Was it RSV? Were they not metabolizing food correctly? Lung issues? She told me it was a problem with their heart.

Two days later Genet told me that one of the babies had died.  I immediately started to cry.  Genet just quietly said "No, no, this is God's will." The way she said it struck me.  She said it in a way that showed her total faith in God.  That because it was God's will I shouldn't be sad.  She, the day after her nephew had died, was able to come to terms with it because of her faith.  I wanted her to stop working and go be with Sara.  She said she would go early, but wanted to finish her work.  I left the house to go to a small coffee goodbye party because I was leaving in a couple of days to head back home to deliver Colette.  At the party of of my friends suggested I call a heart specialist to see the other baby. When I called Genet to ask the details of the hospital she told me the other baby had just died.

I flew home with a cloud over my head.  I was so sad for Sara.  I was so aggravated at myself for not doing more.  Why couldn't I have offered to help her in her pregnancy?! Why didn't we offer to pay for her prenatal care?! Surely a better doctor would have found out she was having twins and none of this would have happened.  I felt like the most self absorbed first world jerk. Feeling totally guilty for not doing more, but feeling guilty for thinking my help would have been the babies only saving grace.

Sara called me when I was home in the US.  She wanted to see how I was doing and if I had the baby yet. This woman who had just lost her babies was calling me to see how my baby was doing. I could barely talk to her because I was trying not to break down in sobs.  And I was so annoyed at myself because I am totally incapable of pulling myself together in those situations.  All I could get out was "Sara.  We just pray for you all the time. My whole family." She just told me "What can I do? I lost both of them...".  She told me that she'd go to our house with Genet sometimes to get out of the house.  Again, barely able to talk, I just stupidly mumbled something foolish about how "it's good to get out.  It's good for you."  We ended the conversation on a good note. She said that she was praying for us, and for us to do the same for her.

She went back to Ethiopia with her mom before we came back to Cairo.  Shortly after that we said goodbye to Genet because we were being evacuated.

Expats who live in developing countries have the luxury of hiring a full time housekeeper.  We were one of those expats. Having a full time housekeeper isn't a normal thing in the US unless you're some 1%-er.  I grew up doing chores, and was taking care of our home in Houston before we left.  So it's no surprise that it's absolute heaven not having to make beds, iron, fold clothes, pick up toys, sweep and mop.  But what's also heaven is having this person who comes into your home 5 days a week who you come to know and love. Sara was one of the first people I could depend on in Egypt.  When we were so far away from our family and all the things that made us feel safe- she took the place of all those things for us and I felt safter when she was in our home.  She became a friend and a family member.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now.  I mean, I do- it's approaching the one year anniversary of George and Michael's death and it was on my mind.  What I mean more is that I don't feel like it's my place to mourn them.  Like I'm being phony. After I write this down I"ll go to bed, and wake up to my two healthy children. At some point tomorrow I'll feel overwhelmed and wish four some peace and quite. I'm sure Sara would love to be overwhelmed by her two boys.

I guess I wanted to put this story out in the world so that someone else could know how great of a person Sara is.  She's had a very hard life.  The kind of life that would leave me shattered and hating the world....and, honestly, God.  And yet she is nothing but faithful to Him.  I wish I had at least one ounce of her faith.